I Spent Three hrs Acquiring Colonel Sanders to-fall in Love With myself on KFC’s brand-new matchmaking Video Game

I Spent Three hrs Acquiring Colonel Sanders to-fall in Love With myself on KFC’s brand-new matchmaking Video Game

To say this was actually finger-lickin’ effective would-be as well crude

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Here’s a phrase that might too happen spat out by an arbitrary keyword creator equipped exclusively for 2019: now KFC released an anime-style matchmaking simulator online game starring a hot, silver-fox Colonel Sanders. The big wonder? it is really decent.

The game, called “Everyone Loves Your, Colonel Sanders! a Finger Lickin’ suitable relationships Simulator” and produced by entertainment/advertising organization Psyop the fried-chicken brand name, follows the gamer through a three-day cooking college adventure (a cooking college level in three days… that’s the manner in which you understand it’s a fantasy, was I appropriate, folks?). As biggest dynamics, your storyline requires earning the amount, promote your absolute best buddy, and enhancing your cooking chops. But more than anything else, this is a dating games, and so the ultimate aim should bag the svelte Kentucky-fried father this is the Colonel, appearing in the same way suave as KFC’s CGI Instagram influencer type of the man.

KFC is not any stranger to using games as an automobile for marketing: past stunts put a virtual real life horror of an employee exercise program and an 8-bit Atari-style video game additionally featuring the Colonel, but never provides the method been quite service de rencontres 420 so… horny. Here are the features you'll be able to anticipate, if you, anything like me, decide to invest a couple time attempting to date the Hot Colonel in a fried-chicken-branded video game:

Pick Yours Adventure

The online game unfolds in ten components, every one of that involves some essential behavior that could cause their untimely demise or otherwise bring the narrative to a regrettable stop. Yes, the stakes within game of cooking school attractions are so high that the fictional character could possibly pass away, as mine performed. Often. These are simply a number of the ways I unintentionally slash short my personal way to culinary fame and true-love:

  • Supposed to the light in a fried-chicken-triggered, out-of-body state of rapture
  • Splitting your pet dog from his dog biscuit
  • Not keeping my sexual desire manageable and generating an action too early (repeatedly…)

Not just that, but like in every dating sim, individual alternatives impact the item of affection’s emotions for member, starting a closing in which you may build the hunky Colonel’s cardiovascular system — or maybe just a discount to his restaurant.


Sunshine blocking into a rooms, an academy courtyard circulating with cherry blossoms, a cooking arena complement leading cook — the online game is actually clean with this type of backgrounds, which honestly wouldn’t look out of set in highbrow shoujo anime like Ouran senior high school number nightclub. The characters, also, include properly well rendered, blinking and pouting in a dynamic sufficient way to recommend some two-dimensional humankind. Not forgetting, the meals style actually looks appetizing.

KFC’s selection stuff bring a central role inside the game’s storyline. Screenshot: “Everyone Loves Your, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Quality Relationships Simulator”


The discussion styles toward cheesy, however with enough self-awareness that many of the contours will surely feel browse as ironic. See, for example, the cooking school’s deliberate mouthful of a name: “University of Cooking college: Academy for discovering.” Yeah, Shakespeare could never.

Different game play

Like the majority of decide your own personal Adventure video games, this can be relatively standard mouse click ‘n’ run. But there are some mini problems to change it, like a timed quiz (which, it turns out, you’re destined to shed it doesn't matter what) and a turn-based fight against one thing labeled as a “spork monster.” it is definitely not powerful adequate to hold a person’s focus for, say, the 3 time I invested speed-clicking through every possible games for this article (and undoubtedly my intimate upcoming using the Colonel), but a lot more than adequate for 1 or 2 playthroughs that a standard person would carry out.

Side characters

There’s an entire variety of characters show flesh from world-building within this games: closest friend Miriam, spectacles-wearing teacher canine (a.k.a. Sprinkles), villainous Aashleigh and Van Van, small-statured boy pop music, sentient kitchen appliance Clank, the forgettable pupil (yes, that is their real name), and, of course, the Colonel. One figure gets tossed a flimsy bone of another storyline — BFF Miriam enjoys her own small appreciation thread taking place using the scant leftover eligible bachelors — while some continue to be a frustrating enigma. Is no any planning to talk about the professor/dean/CEO mentioning puppy??

Hot Colonel

Obviously, all of these qualities pale into the (high-cheekboned, smooth-skinned) face associated with the star appeal: the guy for the fried-chicken kingdom, Colonel Harland Sanders. Although the video game never strays into especially sexual territory, there are lots of possibilities to sensually gaze at the Colonel’s rakish laugh,

Hi, there. Screenshot: “I Like Your, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Suitable Relationship Simulator”

perfectly trimmed goatee,

The Way You doin’? Screenshot: “I Like You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Effective Matchmaking Simulator”

easy area swoop of gold hair,

One pass on gun tv show, kindly. Screenshot: “I Enjoy You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Relationship Simulator”

remarkably jacked weapon,

“just what A HUNK!” Screenshot: “I Love You, Colonel Sanders! A Finger Lickin’ Good Matchmaking Simulator”

plus a clue of chest area at some point, and just sigh. (can it be just myself or did some body order their own chicken extra spicy?) When the goal of the overall game is to objectify the person which talented the world with eleven secret natural herbs and spices, after that goal accomplished: now, a whole generation of players will grow up with the cursed skills that anime Colonel Sanders was fist lickin’ okay.

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